The Constant Companion.
It is now nearly seven years since I got diagnosed with my first cancer. In a few months, it will be three years since I was diagnosed with my second, stomach cancer, which is now in remission and I hope to be in full remission in another couple of years while I tackle the return of my prostate cancer. Just prior to my heart failure due to the stomach cancer and my emergency admission to hospital my PSA numbers started to rise. My urologist in South Africa, who had carried out the brachytherapy treatment, and was monitoring them remotely, had advised me to go and have scans as he thought the cancer might be returning. I got as far as having one appointment with the urologist here when any action on my prostate was put on the back burner while they dealt with my stomach cancer. It was little surprise both to my South African urologist and myself that the cancer had returned. When first diagnosed he had wanted to remove my prostate but my poor health and being overweight, they thought surgery would be imprudent.
“Seven years later after two bouts of cancer and major surgery, I am now deemed fit enough for another further surgery. Makes you think how physically unhealthy I was.” - Peter Mcsporran
Between my doctor in Zambia delaying sending me immediately to South Africa for a proper diagnosis and my travelling for work instead of getting it seen to immediately, it had progressed. Interestingly, the first thing my urologist said to me when I arrived at the hospital in South Africa was, “Did your doctor not give you a physical examination?” We all know he was referring to the finger up the bum. My doctor in Zambia being a lady, said she would send me for an ultrasound rather than do a physical, which she did and the scan failed to pick up the extent of the cancer despite her claimed faith in the operator. It was left for close to four months before treatment, hence my urologist informed me it was no surprise it had returned when I asked for his opinion on my latest bout. But in all honesty, it was probably six years since I had my PSA checked, let alone a full medical back then.
What am I trying to say here, you wonder? Have regular medical checks and demand blood and PSA tests! Put your dread of the finger aside!
Basically, I am learning to live with the dreaded ‘C’ which I have had to deal with over the past seven years. The constant companion. Many friends and acquaintances are aware of this and some of those who have recently been diagnosed with cancer have contacted me for a chat. Talking and sharing experiences I find very important and helpful. In fact, more often than not it is an exchange of messages. Some seek advice on dealing with the disease, some seek advice on how to treat a loved one with the disease and some just want to chat about it not seeking any advice.
“Those around the sufferer of cancer always suffer greater than the patient. A feeling of anger and frustration with their own helplessness adds to their misery. Remember that when you are diagnosed with cancer.” - Peter McSporran
For myself, I was aware from an early stage that getting cancer was a probability with my mother's genetic background which was riddled with cancer. All her siblings who were not killed in the war had died from the disease. Further, my mother and full sister along with all of my cousins on her side of the family, bar one, have succumbed to the disease. I therefore as always, and as Rozanne sometimes accuses me of being pessimistic, thought it inevitable that it would also catch up with me.
With my layman's experience of the disease, from as an early age as possible, I advise you to get your doctor to screen you. I am sure you are all aware, the sooner it is detected the greater the chances of successful treatment. Knowing this is not doing, just do it.
Being visually fit and feeling healthy doesn't necessarily mean you are. Unfortunately, this is when you should visit your doctor for regular checks not after the symptoms are obvious. That is my first bit of advice.
“There is nothing wrong with me or I cannot be bothered visiting the doctor are common excuses. Even worse are those that say I would rather not know. This is not just short-sighted, it is downright stupid if not fatal, the disease is horrendously debilitating if not treated.” - Peter McSporran
There is the exception, more common with young people, that the disease is fatal no matter when diagnosed. But more often than not nowadays it is treatable or at least slowed down allowing the individual to carry on with life. I have a number of friends with incurable cancer who with their medication lead a normal productive life despite its presence.
That is the second message, being diagnosed with cancer is not the end of your life. It is a terrible thing to say perhaps, but I found it made me appreciate my life much more. You suddenly realise it is finite. You learn to make use of every hour let alone day to do something worthwhile, for pleasure or work. Sure you begrudge the treatments, consultations, tests and scans which may occupy many of your days but like everything you come across in life, you adapt to it.
That brings me to the third message. Do not let it get you down! Try not to worry about it, your loved ones and family are doing plenty of worrying on your behalf, by being positive you support them as much as yourself.
“The more bloody-minded and determined you are, the greater the chance of defeating the disease, in fact any ailment. ‘A woe is me’ attitude will have the direct opposite effect on both yourself and your loved ones.” - Peter McSporran
My fourth bit of advice is do not Google it. There are so many sites that profess to be experts but are not. Stick to bona fide sites such as the NHS. I had a look at some sites when I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer and within a few hours of surfing, I was convinced I would die. The problem is, every possible complication is often given prominence above its implications, mainly driven by the specific interest of the author. Anyway, your neighbours will, unbeknown to you, be carrying out this internet research letting slip not necessarily good advice over a cuppa or a beer.
I have been advised by many to try various herbal cures, change my diet, even god forbid, become a vegan. If they are harmless and improve your peace of mind, fine, but ensure they are harmless. I do think the majority have not got any substance to their claims.
Like many after being diagnosed with prostate cancer, I carried on working but my stomach cancer coincided with my full retirement at seventy years of age. From being mildly interested in gardening, it has become almost a full-time pastime. When at home there is rarely a day when a few hours are not spent in the garden. It does not have to be gardening, it can be anything that you enjoy that keeps your mind busy and your body active. I hate exercise and therefore I use gardening as an alternative as is this blog which I started when incapable of physical effort and am now stuck with. Nothing like hoeing the gravel or sweeping up leaves to build up a sweat or trying to write English to keep your mind occupied.
“Gardening is like being a farmer, it demands your attention. On leaving the house there is always something that needs to be done, not tomorrow but now.” - Peter McSporran
Finally, trust in your doctor and or surgeon. If not, change him or her. Even if you think he is the best, get a second opinion. I did on the diagnosis of my 2nd prostate cancer, not so my stomach cancer as a panel of experts took an interest in that. The comfort in your mind of thinking you are getting what is best medically is a huge relief. Remember with treatment the vast majority of cancer patients survive at least ten years even if not cured completely.
The Constant Gardener.
In my case, it is not similar to the John le Carré character in his book of that title but rather in what I do every day while I am at home. In that novel, Justin Quayle, the main character, digging in the garden is a symbolism of his tenacity in digging into his wife’s murder. In my case, there is only digging in the garden. When on the farm, the garden was the Madam’s domain to be avoided at any cost. All of us Zimbabwean farmers know that feeling when the Madam requests in the middle of tobacco curing if you can spare a couple of extra guys to sort out that new flower bed or weed the lawn. Or worse, can you fix the lawnmower or sprinkler? Only a fool would ignore these demands, peace at home makes a happy farm.
Now I am the gardener. When we started here in Portugal we used to get Cerci Penela to come and tidy up from time to time. Cerci is something similar to our Homefields of old and in offering education and employment to challenged youngsters, and not-so-young people, offering services to the community such as gardening, laundering and even road sweeping in the town of Penela and adjacent villages. Anyway, with the advent of Covid, that was no longer possible and I took over, never reverting back to their services following the end of the pandemic. Once or twice a year, the heavy pruning of the shrubs and fruit trees are done by an able long-distance driver called Sergio.
It always struck me as slightly crazy that many of us farmers in Zimbabwe used labour to hand weed our crops. I could understand it in high-value crops such as tobacco but not in maize and soya. Perhaps we considered weed-free crops as a measure of our farming capabilities. Hand cultivating was given the acronym, MWB, if said politely, ‘men with badzas (hoes)’ although, it included women. Now I have found that in a flower garden, it is impossible to use herbicides as you have monocotyledon and dicotyledon plants mixed, which is further complicated by what seems at times ridiculous EU rules. So from farm owner to becoming an MWB, it is my greatest achievement to date in retirement.
“I find myself nurturing flowers I considered weeds in my farming days.” - Peter McSporran
I do use fungicides on my roses but even the most effective of these along with many insecticides have been banned here in Europe. They can only be bought by those holding certificates in the proficiency of their use. Of course, you just need a neighbour to procure for you. Surprisingly aphids and snails are our biggest problem and we can control them fairly easily. It seems snail bait is not considered dangerous to the environment.
“Look forward to your day. If you have nothing to look forward to, that is your fault, nobody else’s.” - Peter McSporran
I do not know if I would have had the same interest in gardening if I had not been diagnosed with cancer, who knows? Next week back to the 90s.
Disclaimer: Copyright Peter McSporran. The content in this blog represents my personal views and does not reflect corporate entities.
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